There are so many offers, if you (like me) have the flexibility to avail of them.
We ‘were’ weekend-away professionals! We had weekends away 6-7 times per year. Lets face it we had brunch every sunday pre-kids; We had dinner out 3-4 times per week ;We cooked such exotic foods as beef and black bean stir-fry -Now we are exotic if we have Birds Eye fish fingers with omega 3!
So last weekend you can imagine our excitement when my friend volunteered – yes, volunteered with zero trace of alcohol or prescription drugs – offered…OFFERED to look after our kids.
We checked into the hotel, like lotto winners – last weekend away WITHOUT KIDS was 2007! We were jubilant! We were excited by being able to finsh a sentence, being able to stay up as late as we liked and lay in as long as we wanted – not as long as the youngest child wanted to.
We luxuriated in the hotel breakfast -a far cry from cheerios and nutella on toast. So I decided I would have the croissants, warmed gently, with some jam. The crossaints were sitting innocently beside a rotary toaster – you know the one, where you place your own toast, it climbs a 45 degree angle and then drops out at the end – toasted and warmed, waiting for the butter. Well I thought since the toaster is in close proximation to the croissants they must be able to get toasted and warmed through.
I placed a croissant on the rotary toaster -with abandon. I walked over, poured my juice, got my coffee and dropped them off at our table.
As I started my approach back to the rotary toaster -I heard a smoke alarm going off. I saw a member of staff, armed with a fire extinguisher spray the rotary toaster. The flames were licking the foam tiles on the suspended roof.
Just then, the consituent ingredients of a croissant flashed into my brain….2/3 fat.
I turned around briskly and walked back, casually, towards our table. I sat down surreptiously, eyes downcast.
‘Jesus, someone made a right mess of the toaster’ my husband said. ‘What kind of fool would put 70% fat into a toaster? I mean the fat just dripped over the elements of the toaster…..and whoosh’.
I agreed – what a fool.
Next morning, there was a sign at the rotary toaster, delcaring that under no circumstances was any french pastries of any kind to be toasted.
Thing is- when our children are with us, we can legitimately blame them for mishaps and breakages. But when left to our own devices, I remember that pre-kids it was always me who was the culprit…err…I mean scapegoat