Positive Redundancy #24 Studying and self-belief

When I worked in Corporate sales, I used to dream about winning the lottery and being able to do whatever I wanted. It would usually consist of houses on every continent, a yacht and becoming a writer. When I had a great salary, it was impossible that I could pack in the security of that regular pay and do something I ‘wanted’ to do.

Periodically I would see a fabulous job at www.theabbeytheatre.ie and dream about the possibility of one day….one day.

When someone strips away your salary and strips away your security – inadvertently they give you freedom and more choices. I had nothing left to lose, so to return to studying became something I could ‘actually’ do – and writing was what I actually wanted to do So I googled all providers in Ireland and the UK. I wanted the flexibility of an online course, where I could fit study, kids and hopefully a new job around it.

I have now completed 6 months of my MA at www.falmouth.ac.uk and it has been 100% my lifesaver. Returning to studying has given me a boost in self-confidence hugely beyond what I anticipated. I always knew (okay when I had a few Shiraz on board) that I was funny to my friends, but now I have learned that I can write comedic dialogue.

I have started writing a play, have entered short story competitions. After Obama’s visit, I printed out on a piece of A4 ‘A Writer works here’ and pinned it on my notice board above my desk. I felt self-indulgent and a bit silly. Like if I tell myself enough, the land of make-believe will come true.

The other day, we were talking to my son, Charlie and he said ‘Mum if you get a job as a writer, well….. I think that you are already a writer’ – well there has never been a time when I loved that wee man more 🙂

I never believed in myself as a writer, until I started my Masters – always thought I was deluding myself. Now, on a good day I am 90% sure I will continue to write, get my work published and see a play I write performed. So slowly but surely my MA has given me self-belief. And now it seems, my son believes in me too!

Redundancy has given me a chance to do something I wanted to for the last 15 years, but would never give up the ‘good job’ – but now I have the freedom to do what I want to do – to make a life change. So if I was to give advice it would be – follow your heart, study/indulge in what you love, your passion. Use this time well.