Positive #6 No more Corporate cliches


Okay – so let me run this up the flagpole. Lets put it out there to see if it has legs. Lets blue-sky this one. Lets ramp up the activity. Lets hit 120% on this. Because as we all know there is no ‘I’ in ‘team’. Lets see how this one sticks. It’s purely a numbers game. Lets target the right demographic. Let target the Tweenagers and focus on pester power.

Phew – enough! It had got to the stage I was translating my own thoughts into corporate speak. These targets are complete c**p – would become ‘the targets look somewhat challenging’. That buyer in x is an absolute witch – ‘I need some green field thinking about building relationships with x’.

It had become so painful to keep my emotions and true thoughts under wraps, that it literally was giving me a pain in the head – I hated the person I had become. I heard myself talking to my colleagues when I was training them using the exact same bland drivel.

I had always prided myself of on being honest, descriptive and clear in what I said. I valued people who could be upfront and honest – not in a harsh hurtful way – but in an honest and decent way.

How 13 years of corporate soul bashing had changed me. You know the scene in Monsters Inc where Randall has invented the scream extractor and is inching towards Mikey with this new machine – well that is a strong image and that is what I feel Corporations eventually do to their employees.

They give you the corporate guilt if you are off on maternity, with stress, or god forbid an operation. They condescend to you about welcome back – now knuckle down. Yet they think nothing of getting rid of you.

And like me you emerge into the day light trying to re-acquaint yourself with an old-fashioned language. You try using your corporate speak in the real world – but quickly have to back translate into who you were.

Only then does the weight lift off your shoulders and you slowly re-morph into the essence of you. Back to who you were, when you strip away the corporate shell that used to surround you.

And you know what – I have discovered I am overwhelmingly glad to be back to just being Joan. To Talk how I want to talk, crack jokes about what I really find funny, to spend time with people I value. It’s a breath of fresh air to be me again, just me 🙂

About joanniemitchell

An enforced lady of leisure. A Lady who cant afford to lunch! I was in Corporate Sales for Global Entertainment Company until 17th January when I had the phone call - 'Meet me in the office with HR'. Now am pursuing my Masters in Professional Writing and looking on the upside after Redundancy.
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3 Responses to Positive #6 No more Corporate cliches

  1. Olivia says:

    This I can appreciate it Joan. I know what you are feeling. Sometimes I feel the opposite to you, since having not worked in 7 years but minded my 3 kids you can become disconnected with the latest technologies, what is happening in the world outside your drop off & pick ups at school. So I sometimes find the challenge is making time for ‘me’ – to read the paper, scan the internet, keep up with the latest & greatest & not talk about Public Vs Catholic schools & kids sports & schedules when I go to my next Adult outing – as that is what I didn’t like about Mothers before I became one…
    As you know Joan, I love my current job …

  2. Coleen says:

    Sometimes (eg. 4am yesterday morning when I was staring at a plotter which simply refused to print my drawings I had to present at 12 noon) I wish I could reverse time by four/five years and follow business as a career path instead of architecture. In reality, I know I could never work work for a major corporatation. It would drive me insane in too many ways…the corporate blether in itself is enough! This reminded me that the grass is always greener on the other side 🙂

  3. Bellinda Devonshire says:

    I can SO relate to this Joan and you must just feel totally liberated now that you can speak in real language rather than some hyped up corporate babble. I was thinking today while at our monthly “stand up” meeting (yes, it is a bit like comedy!) that if I have to run up any more flag poles this week I’ll have to visit the Dr and get something for vertigo!

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