Positive # 3 – one with my emotions

After I had kids I would  have said that I became quite emotional.  I cried for a week when Lucy got stabbed in ER.  I embarrased myself in row D when Les Miserables came to Belfast – when Fantine sang before she dies – I lost all run of myself and even my chin was shaking; people were looking at me like I was ‘let out’.

So I have always been out there emotionally.  Being made redundant wasn’t a surprise for me – I had 10 weeks notice.  So when I signed on this week I thought I was prepared?  Really?  By wednesday I was crying to my ‘mammy’s’ at school and texting my poor sister in the middle of her new client meetings (She runs a Nursing home).   

I had a good old cry in the car on the way over to the school.  Then gave myself a talking to, put on a bit of lip gloss and opened the car door – action!  As we sat in the parents room waiting for the guitar lesson to be over, my french ‘mammy’ asked how I was.  I burst into tears and had the wobbly chin moment again.  They all huddled around me.  It was miraculous.  It was reassuring. I felt I had someone looking after me. I felt like I was eight again and Siobhan Maguire was bullying me and my Mother got on the war path.  I felt someone was looking after me.  I felt (corny I know) sisterhood and support.

Until I had kids I never really identified with women really – I loved the company of men, the no nonsense, straight up approach.  I loved that they didnt get emotional, just factual.  Then when the hormones started flowing in pregnancy – there was no going back to the old Joan.

So although it doesnt feel like a positive – crying at school – afterwards I felt that I had moved closer to my ‘mammy’s’.  As I listened to their shared stories, I felt strengthened, I felt once again like a survivor.

About joanniemitchell

An enforced lady of leisure. A Lady who cant afford to lunch! I was in Corporate Sales for Global Entertainment Company until 17th January when I had the phone call - 'Meet me in the office with HR'. Now am pursuing my Masters in Professional Writing and looking on the upside after Redundancy.
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1 Response to Positive # 3 – one with my emotions

  1. Olivia says:

    Great to share our emotions – it makes them that bit easier to handle I think. Nice you can be around folks you can trust on a daily basis.

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